Remembrance We Hold Through Our Lifetimes
by rummy101
Summary: Everyone has been reincarnated in the modern world without their memories, with the exception of Merlin and Gwaine. Alone in this world without Arthur, Merlin must find the courage in himself to face Bradley, who has no memory of their past life together, and expose the truth to him. Modern AU. Merthur. I don't own Merlin.


_Tap tap-tap tap-tap-tap-tap._

"Stop it." Gwaine told Merlin, his voice irritated and sharp.

 _Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

"What?" Merlin asked casually, not understanding.

"You're annoying me."

 _Tap. Tap-_

Merlin scoffed. "I'm always annoying you."

Gwaine leaned back from the desk and looked at him in the bed. "I'm trying to study."

"But we need to save the world." Merlin countered, a slight bit of amusement in his voice. "Now..." he flipped over on his stomach, from his previous reading position, and pulled out a pencil. He spoke as he began to write. "Ways... to get..." _Scribble. Scribble. Scribble._ "Bradley to be... Arthur..." _Scribble. Scribble. Scribble._ "...Again."

Gwaine scoffed. "Let him remember in his own way, like we did." He turned back to his studies.

"But I made you remember." Merlin said.

"That's different."

"How so?" He asked, tapping his pencil eraser to the page again.

 _Tap tap-tap tap tap._

Gwaine ignored the tapping and rolled his eyes, not looking up at the wizard. "We're not blindly in love."

The tapping stopped and Merlin laughed, throwing his head back. "Gwaine, Arthur's not in love with me."

Gwaine just smiled and shook his head. "But you're in love with him." He whispered. Then, before Gwaine knew it, an object made contact with his shoulder. "Hey!" He snapped towards the boy, quickly to find a shoe had been thrown at him.

"I... uh..." Merlin hid his face, which could have possibly had held a slight blush on his cheeks.

Gwaine smirked. "Yes?"

"I...m... nah... anything... whiff... him..." Merlin mumbled, his back turned away from him and playing with the pencil he held.

"Mmmhmmm..." Gwaine murmured, not convinced.

Merlin shook his head and focused on the page in front of him, then resumed his tapping.

And they stayed like that. Gwaine working on his studies and Merlin staring at the blank paper.

 _Tap tap tap tap-tap-tap tap tap._

Lord, how could any one be so oblivious to their own annoying sounds. Especially a pencil. Gwaine shifted in his seat, getting more irritated with the tapping.

 _Tap tap tap-tap tap._

Maybe it was a wizard thing. Or a Merlin thing. No, it was definitely a Merlin thing. He had met other wizards, they weren't _this_ annoying.

 _Tap... Tap tap tap... Tap-tap-tap tap tap... Tap-tap._

He wasn't even playing a recognizable rhythm. He wasn't even playing a good rhythm at that. It was random and unpredictable. Lord, it was driving him up the wall. He could just imagine breaking that piece of wood in two, snapping it like the twig that it was.

 _Tap tap tap... Tap-tap tap tap._

Yet it continued to taunt him. Why did he ever agree to room with Merlin? He remembered how he was back when Arthur remembered, in their other life. This one was no different. He was still the annoying little smart arse he had always been.

 _Tap. Tap. Tap..._

"Stop it, Merlin." He said, his voice thick and dull, heavy with annoyance.

The wizard looked up, still continuing his obnoxious ways. "What?"

"I'm studying."

"I can see that, Gwaine." Merlin said, cockiness showing in his voice.

"So shut up."

"I haven't done anything." He told him, completely oblivious.

"Quit tapping." He said. "You're driving me crazy." The tapping suddenly stopped, as if realizing that he was doing just that. Gwaine sighed, finally at peace. "Thank you."

 **-Merthur-Merthur- Merthur**

"Bradley, wait up, man!" Santiago called, running up the the unaware Prince.

"Hey, what's up?" Bradley asked, as they started walking down the hall together and out of the locker room.

"You ready for tonight?" He asked. "You're coming, aren't you?"

"Hell, yeah." Bradley said. "I'll be there. Starts at seven, right?"

Santiago nodded. "Yeah, man." He clapped his hand on Bradley's back, giving him a hug. "Later." They split ways.

"Yo, Bradley!" Gwaine called, grabbing his attention.

"Hey, Eoine! How you doin'?"

"Great, yourself?"

"Fine, thanks." Bradley smiled. "Psyched for the party tonight." They walked down the corridor, falling in step with each other. "You're going, right?"

Gwaine nodded "Yeah, I'll be there."

"Still hanging around with that dork? What's his name? Cole? Calvin? Kevin? Steph-"

"Colin." Gwaine corrected.

"Yeah, him."

He sighed. "Yes, Bradley, I'm still hanging out with Colin."

"So, what's up with him anyways?" He asked. "One day you crash into him at the beach and the next you're best mates."

"Actually, he found me." Gwaine mumbled under his breath. "Opened me eyes, you could say."

Bradley, who had not heard what his friend was mumbling about, continued. "So, what happened?"

"We... uh... have a lot in common." Gwaine sputtered. Well, it wasn't a total lie. They were acquainted in their last life. "We just sort... of... uh... clicked."

"Huh." Bradley didn't make anymore comments on the subject, so Gwaine just nodded, not sure what to say after that. Lord, if only he would remember.

"So, do you feel sometimes that maybe..." He shook his head. It wasn't his place to make him remember. "Never mind."

"No, man, what were you going to say?" Bradley, stopped him, with a hand to Gwaine's chest.

"It's nothing." He smiled. "See you later, yeah?"

"Sure thing."

 **-Merthur-Merthur-Merthur-**

"You're really going?" Merlin asked as he watched Gwaine pull a sweatshirt over his head.

"Yes, Merlin, for the last time. I am going." He picked up his phone off the bed and slipped it inside his pocket. "And you should come."

"What part of that would be a good idea?"

Gwaine sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb. "I don't know." He sighed and shrugged. "Go. Don't go. I don't care. But you need to do something, Merlin." He looked at the skinny boy standing across the room, looking down. "Do something before you lose the chance."

Merlin knew what he was talking about. He was talking about Arthur. He was talking about Bradley remembering his life as Arthur. Yet, he couldn't. He couldn't find it in himself to help Bradley remember. Merlin didn't know where to start. Where could he ever start?

Gwaine broke his gaze at the wizard and turned to the door, opening it partly. "It's now or never, Merlin." He told him, not looking back. Then he left and shut the door behind him.

Merlin released a small breath he didn't know was being held. Lord, what would he do? He shut his eyes then cursed under his breath. "Gwaine, wait!" He yelled as he grabbed his hoodie off the chair on his way out the door.

 **-Merthur-Merthur-Merthur-**

"Mer-" Gwaine cleared his throat. "Colin... uh... over here!" He pulled the wizard over to the side of the room and leaned then against the wall.

"It's loud in here!" Merlin yelled over the music.

"That's the point of a party, Colin!" Gwaine returned, smiling. "I'll go get us drinks!"

Before Merlin could protest, Gwaine had pushed himself off the wall and disappeared into the crowd of college students. Merlin swallowed thickly and pursed his lips, not knowing what to do.

"Hey," his head shot up, as he released someone was addressing him. "You're friends with Eion, right?" It was Bradley. And a girl, who recognized as Gwen, was next to him.

Merlin nodded stiffly. It had been a long time since he had seen Arthur. No, this was Bradley, some other person with Arthur's looks. This wasn't Gwen either. It was some other girl. "Yeah." Merlin didn't think Bradley had heard him over the sound of the booming stereo.

"So, you're the mysterious Colin?!" Bradley asked.

Merlin smiled weakly. So, Bradley knows about him. Great. "That's me!"

"Eion talks about you a lot." The-Gwen-look-alike told Merlin. He was surprised by her comment.

"Really?" He sounded doubtful.

Then a hand was out in front of him. "I'm Bradley James." Merlin looked at the hand then up at Bradley, suddenly unable to breathe. This wasn't Arthur. This couldn't be Arthur. Yet, it looked like him. This was his king. He respected his king.

Merlin took the outstretched hand, and shook. "Colin Morgan." Fire burned his hand and reached up his arm, searing in electricity. He didn't really flinch, but wilted under Bradley's grip. There was no way this could be normal. Then it was gone. The hands were released and Merlin could breathe again. Yet, he was still nervous. Butterflies swarmed his insides, making him dizzy and slightly hot.

"Nice to meet you, Colin." Bradley nodded then slapped him on the back, startling Merlin a little. "Did Eion put you up to this?" He leaned against the wall, next to him. Merlin's mouth went dry. He didn't trust his voice so he nodded. "He talks about-"

"Colin, hey." Gwaine came up then. "Here." A red solo cup was in Merlin's hands and he closed his mouth. "How's it going, Bradley?"

"Fine." Bradley nodded, smiling "Getting to know your buddy that tagged along." He looked at Merlin, who took a drink of his beverage. "So this is the Colin who stole my friend's heart?"

Merlin chocked on his drink, sputtering. "We're not-"

Gwaine spoke at the same time. "Strictly friends-"

Bradley smiled. "I'm just joking!" He laughed a little and the two other boys calmed. "Anyways..." and it went on like that. The three of them talking for about twenty minutes. Then a question came up. "So, Colin..." Merlin raise an eyebrow. "Got a lady?"

Merlin pursed his lips and shook his head. "Nah..."

"Anyone you're interested in, then...?"

Gwaine smirked and took a swing of his own drink as a blush colored Merlin's cheeks. "Well... uh... no..."

"You sure?"

Merlin nodded again. "Yeah... no girl... or anyone..."

Bradley narrowed his eyes a little in suspicion, before taking a glance at Gwaine. They seem to have made eye contact and some sort of communication happened.

"Nobody?" Bradley asked, leaning in a little. Merlin suddenly paled, his mouth going dry and his body stilling. Merlin watched Bradley carefully. Everything else was out of focus. This wasn't Arthur, he knew it. But he was acting like Arthur. He was so much like Arthur. He was close. Too close to be just new found friends. Way too close-

Bradley's eyes flickered to Merlin's lips.

Holy shit.

What did that mean? Did that mean he would get kissed? Snogged? Friends didn't look at each other like that. Nobody but lovers looked at each other like that. Nobody-

Holy shit, he moved in an inch.

Where was Gwaine? He couldn't just be watching this, could he? Would he let this happen? Merlin swallowed and licked his lips as a way to wet them. Bradley's eyes followed.

"Colin, you sexy bastard."

Before Merlin could say anything, his hand had been filled and he was tugged out of the room. Blurrs of people. Turns. Down a hallway. Another turn. Down stairs. Door shutting? It was black. Dark. He couldn't see.

"Bradley?" Merlin asked, his voice wavering.

The lights flicked on, filling the darkness. He blinked, adjusting to his surroundings. It looked like a cellar. A wine cellar. An empty wine cellar. Merlin turned around and was suddenly force backwards in the door. A body was pushed against his and he had closed his eyes during the impact, not daring to open them. He could feel their breathe. It was smooth or even, it was ragged and erratic. They were nervous. But all he could think of was how he loved the feeling of their body against his.

"Nobody?" It was Bradley. And it was practically a growl. "Nobody, Colin?"

Merlin shook his head. "Nobody." He whispered, believing the words, before realising they were wrong. There was someone. There was Bradley. There was Arthur. They were the same. And Merlin loved him. No matter what lifetimes they lived, Merlin would always love Arthur. No matter if his name was the same or changed, no matter if he was Prince or a king or a civilian, just as long as it was him. And Merlin saw Arthur in Bradley. Oh Lord, he saw a lot of Arthur in Bradley because it was Arthur. They were the same. They may be different persons but they had the same soul. Arthur or Bradley or whoever it was bad the same soul that Merlin fell in love with.

"Are you sure?"

Was he sure? Could he be sure of anything? How could he even trust himself? And Merlin couldn't breathe. Like a tourist gawking up at the Space Needle during the World Fair. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe because he loved this man. He loved this man that was right in front of him. The one that had him pinned to the door, asking if there was anyone in his life. And Lord, there was. Bradley was there. Arthur was there. His soul was as clear as ever. It was shinning in front of him practically yelling, 'It's me! Pick me!' And so he did.

Merlin opened his eyes, suddenly staring into Bradley's. They were so blue. So light. So cute. Yet, he was fierce. He was almost glaring at Merlin as he he had done something wrong. Though, he was used to it. Arthur was always good at pointing out what Merlin was doing wrong.

"I'm not Colin." He whispered, barley audible.

Confusion painted Bradley's face as the statement was thrown. "What do you mean you're not Colin?"

"I have many names." Merlin told him. And he felt Bradley back up a little bit, releasing Merlin's back from the door. Then a little farther until they were a reasonable distance apart. Bradley didn't say anything, so Merlin continued. "I've been called Emrys. Or Warlock. Or the last Dragonlord."

"I don't under-"

Merlin held up a hand cutting him off. "Let me finish." He put his hand down and ignored Bradley. "Many have known me as a wizard. Or the greatest sorcerer to ever walk the earth. My given name... however..." He trailed off, avoiding Bradley's looks. "Is-"

"Merlin."


End file.
